Did you hear? Did you hear? Of course you did. Because it was everywhere. Michael Douglas said his throat cancer* was caused by cunnilingus. Which is way too much information to know about Mr Douglas, but also isn’t necessarily the right information either. One strain of HPV (and there are over a hundred of them) has been known to cause oral cancers but it is very rare. A Johns Hopkins study of 166 people with oral cancers relating to HPV didn’t transmit it to their partners and researchers used these results and that of other studies to conclude that we can all just chill out. As for Douglas’ claim that oral sex is also the best cure for oral cancer? Um, whatever.

*That supposed throat cancer was actually tongue cancer but he lied a wee bit because he was about to do a bunch of press for his new movie Wall Street and didn’t want the media frenzy to be blown out of proportion. Luckily he made up for afterwards with the comments about oral sex.